Compromising your Metabolism Part2: The hardest thing

This is a follow up to this post. Compromising your Metabolism?

I've been trying to lose all the fat on my body since January 2010. For about a year I ate at 2000, 1800, 1600, and 1490 daily caloric intake exercising 5-6 days a week and reducing calories levels as I lost weight which was about every quarter.
For the majority of 2011 I struggled to lose weight at 1500-1450 calories/day while exercising. I was exercising 45-60 min with occasional 90 min workouts an sometimes on weekend double workouts I was burning 500-1500 calories a day in exercise. This caused me to be eating at a severe deficit for a long time frame.

Now I'm committed to eating enough calories and I am convinced, finally, that I truly was starving myself.

 For 2 weeks I have maintained my intake at 2350-2550. Regardless of exercise. I don't eat calories back because I'm technically eating at my maintenance or slightly under (200-300 cals). This past week I was traveling for 3 days and despite poor nutritional options I monitored my caloric intake the best I could. ** I made a best guess on the mexican fajitas I ate.** I worked out 2 days of the 3. One day I did 20 min of HIIT calisthenics in my room and the next night I ran 4 miles. This morning I weighed and I was .2 heavier than the day I left. Im ok with this because i didn't really gain I haven't been exercising consistently and my nutrition hasn't been super clean so I definitely think I could be retaining a bit of water. Since I started I have lost about 4 lbs and kept it off instead of YoYoing. Despite always believing, and telling others, that eating your calories back was the right thing to do; I lost weight for a year consistently by not doing it. Being morbidly obese when I started, and working hard enough to compete in triathlons I was terrified to eat my calories back fearing I would start putting all that weight back on that I had worked so hard to lose. It took me a year of not losing anything and being frustrated to the point of giving up to get to this point. I'm excited once again to be moving forward instead of being in a state of constant frustration. I urge you all to determine your TDEE and then eat at a slight deficit. It maybe working for you now to starve your body but eventually it will catch up to you and you will waste a lot of time and destroy the motivation and drive you have.

The hardest thing was me forcing my brain to accept the fact that doing this wasn't going to make me fat and if gaining a little weight the first week was my only way to make progress over the long haul was to take this step of faith than doing that was better than continuing to gain and lose the same 10 lbs for another year.

Weight Gain

I hate where I'm am right now.  I feel so defeated with my weight and I know how stupid it is but it really is getting the best of me mentally.    I'm 15 lbs up from my low and essentially haven't made any progress since Mid January.  How is that possible?  How can I be eating in a deficit and not lose weight?  Scientific anomaly?

A few weeks ago I started hitting the free weights and I've been doing very basic workouts.  Upper body: Bench Press, Shoulder Press, Rows, Pendelay Rows, Barbell Curls, Preacher curls, French Press.  Lower body: Barbell Rack Squats,  Romanian Deadlifts, Barbell Rack Lunges, Calf Raises.

My body is sore all the time and I feel like I cant run. which is killing my run training.  But I know I need this badly.  Additionally this weightlifting seems to be the cause of my weight gain.  Which if its muscle then Yay!!! But if its not muscle then....

I really dont think I could have put on 6 lbs of muscle in 2 weeks.

I want to run and get my distance back up to over 10k but my ass hurts to even walk!

Compromising your metabolism?

Training and losing weight is a double edged sword.  Eat enough to fuel but restrict my intake enough to lose.


In Jan 2010 I started and I weighed-in that day at 297 I had been over 300 lbs easily. I lost 22 lbs in the first 9 weeks. I was exercising everyday for at least 30 min of hard cardio. I was trying to hit a caloric goal of 2300 calories which was a 500 calorie per day deficit. I wasnt eating my calories back that I burned during exercise. I continued to lose.

By Oct 2010 I was down to about 225 and over the next couple months it seemed to me that it was harder for me to lose weight. If I missed a workout I wasnt losing so I had to be very strict. I still was not eating my exercise calories. 


In reviewing my diary now, I was taking in roughly 1200-1600 calories a day and exercise burning 450 - 1100 calories a day. There were some days where my net caloric intake was less then 200 cals Net after exercise. I was starving myself.  How long had I been doing this?


 I never ate back my calories. 


Feb 2011, I was at my lowest weight yet. 197 lbs Woohoo! From over 300lbs to 197lbs I felt and looked amazing. I hurt my knee running and was layed up for 6 months. Because I couldnt do cardio I did upper body strength training and Kept my calories low. I managed to maintain and only inched back up to about 205. By the time I had recovered and I was back to training for my triathlon. I was 198 the day of my race. But I couldnt lose anything more. I was trying hard I was eating very carefully. Burning 1000+ cals 4-6 days a week and eating about 1500 total. This had gone on for months. All of 2011 I essentially stayed the same or gained 5 lbs.


As the 2011 holiday season approached and triathlon season ended I relaxed my diet and my exercise as I was mentally spent from the constant grind of not making progress for a year. The fat fell off of me all through 2010 but in 2011 It was all I could do it shave 5 pounds. 
Jan 2012 I weighed-in after abandoning diet and exercise for 2 full months. Scale was 221 lbs. I dropped 7 lbs in 2 days (water). I had to get back under I started again doing what I had done again.... Nothing 1 lbs loss ... a single cheat meal. 3 lbs gain for 4 days (not just water). That continued... I was up down, up down, up down.


Everyone was telling me..."Massive, your not eating enough! You are starving yourself!" I bought a BodyMedia Fit about a month ago and basically what I've found is that my daily TDEE is at or exceeds 3000+ Calories a day without exercise. So If I'm only eating 1500 calories a day my body, without exercise, is at a 1500 calorie per day Deficit, add a 1000 calorie workout in there and your looking at some serious nutrition issues. A week before I got my Bodymedia fit I started eating a total of 2000 cals ( or trying to make sure I ate that minimum) That wasn't my net but just a total


Is starvation mode real?  I think it is I definitely wasn't eating enough to properly fuel my body.  Its hard because quite honestly it scares me to eat lots because I'm actually afraid to eat to much and gain the weight back.  I dont ever want to go back to where I was and eating calories in excess really scars me so I'm still struggling with it.  I'm trying harder to make sure I eat 2000-2400 cals on days I workout so I'm taking in 1500ish total.  According to estimation If I did No workouts My maintenance calories should be around ~2200 calories/Day.  so by my estimation I should be at a 600-900 calorie deficit.   a little more then normal but everything is an estimate anyway.   I do calorie load when I do long bikes and runs so I take into consideration my caloric needs based on activity levels.


Eat more to lose weight Crazy!  I've dropped almost 6 lbs since trying this approach.


Starvation mode Myth?  - interesting  read

What I've been doing.

To be perfectly honest...nothing.  I'm ashamed of what I haven't done.  I'm ashamed of what I have lost and what I have gained.  I lost serious focus friends.  I lost the kind of focus that changes a persons life.  I lost focus in a way that I thought I would never lose focus again.

See I thought I had changed my life.  I thought that after 14 months of intense life changing rehabilitation that inside I wasn't really a fat person anymore.  I was wrong.  I still have those cravings and I still subconsciously struggle with getting up every morning and making an active choice to NOT be Lazy.

Its so easy to allow your self a little slack in your routine.  If you aren't very careful that slack will gain more and more of your rope until your slack is on the wrong end and your days are spent thinking of how much pie you can eat and how to make excuses to avoid running 10k in 28 degrees F.

I made those Excuses...Lots of them. I've been slacking for 3 full months. But I really let it go in the last month and a half. I convinced myself that it was pointless to watch my intake over the holiday and in turn there really wasn't a reason to keep exercising as it was just a a waste since I was going to eat badly.   Last year I went through the holiday and ate and exercised and I think I gained 1 lb. the only reason that happened is because I kept exercising and I was aware of my eating.  I lost my focus and stopped caring.

I realized that I can't do that.  I have told 100's of people this was a lifestyle change for me.  This wasn't a diet.  I let that slip away for a moment.  I realize the mistakes I've made.  I realize what I have gained and lost and I want back what I had 3 months ago.

So its confession time.
I started slacking after my race.  I managed to maintain no more then a 5lbs gain and the last time I weighed in was mid November.   I haven't exercised consistently in well over 6 weeks.

Yesterday I weighed in and I had gained 15 lbs.  You aren't perfect and the daily struggle is forever.  Never forget how you got there and how hard it was to get where you are.

Its not worth it!

Reflection on Old photos

I found this old photo of me tonight and it reminded me of how bad things had gotten.  I think this maybe the worst photo of me ever.  Even worse then my semi-naked ones I took before I started losing weight.

I cant believe this is me.  I cant ever go back her EVER.

Onederland Baby!!!

Thats right...this morning!  I finally got back down under 200.  I feel it this time Im going to stay under this time.  I have momentum now.  Im going into this weekend motivated and and excited.  Weight is finally starting to come off again.  Just glad to finally see the scale moving.

Todays weight 198.8  Check my ticker for total weight lost --->

Finding what I had forgotten

More then a year ago my wife and I were sitting in a class full of overweight and out of shape people learning about the basics of health and fitness as well as group exercise.   This was the beginning of my journey and what got me started.  Definitely a humbling experience to have let yourself go to a point where you have to reeducate yourself because you just dont know anymore.

We were 8-10 weeks into a 12 week program and I had lost about 17 or 18 pounds.  I was very dedicated and very driven and my commitment level was through the roof .   We were in class having a group discussion about how the previous week had gone, and all these people are talking about "their personal struggle" how they had not lost or not lost much at all some had even gained weight.  This discussion went on and the truth began to come out.  I heard people say they drank a 12 pack of mountain dew in a single day and another would go out of their way to buy a  2lb bag of M&M's and then proceed to eat them.  Many things like this.

It boggled my mind!  I could not understand why if they wanted something this bad, why they would do that.

I distinctly remember saying to my wife... "How can these people do these things and then complain about not losing weight or even gaining weight?  They sabotage themselves deliberately and then cry about not being able to make progress."


At that moment I began to see the difference between where I was and where they were.  They were tired of being fat but they didn't want to lose weight.  They didn't really want to get thinner.  They were either defeated because they had failed so many times in the past that they were convinced that they could not succeed or They didn't truly deeply want it.

I WANTED IT!
I wanted it more then anything else in the world.  At that moment I was willing to kill myself trying to achieve my goals.  So I did everything I could to reach them I sacrificed time money and self satisfaction to reach my goals. 11 months from that Day I weighed less then 200 lbs and I had lost 99.6 lbs.  I broke through a min goal I had which was getting below 200 and having my weight start with a 1 for the first time since I was a teenager.
As a reward I took a few weeks off.  I didn't go overboard but I relaxed my habits.  I lost my drive and I lost my level of commitment.

I forgot!

Its so easy to forget where you came from and how committed you really were and how committed you need to be after doing it for so long.  I found myself doing exactly what I had been so critical of those other people doing.  I found myself eating great through the day and then binging on half a dozen cookies and other such treats in the evening.  I become complacent and unwilling to go back. I had come a long way!  I deserved a chance to relax. So I spent the next month maintaining at right around the 200 lbs mark.

Then I hurt my knee.  Trying to maintain poor eating habits and do the cardio that was necessary to do that became impossible.  I could only do upper body strength training and I had to start watching my diet.  I was able to continue to maintain but now that my knee is mostly healed I'm having a difficult time staying within my caloric allowance and not eating those things that I shouldn't.  Giving into those cravings has become a habit.

I'm guilty now of becoming exactly what I couldn't understand.  Its been 6 months since I lost any weight.  I'm hovering around the 200lb mark This morning I weighed 206 which I know is due to water retention from the creating I've been taking. I'm not going to log that weight as I know its inaccurate.  But I'm making a commitment to stop the binging.  Yesterday I ate some things I shouldn't but I ate them in controlled quantities and I stayed within my caloric allowance.  So, I'm happy with that but I want more.  I want that resolve and willpower that I had 8-10 months ago.  I have recognized my problem and Im willing to take responsibility for  the lack of success I have experienced.  But its time now...Now that I know

I will find it and I will regain the momentum I have lost.

You did what...?

So yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to take my bike in and have someone else cut my bike seat down. Let me back up. My new bike...the seat post is carbon fiber and needs cut down a few inches because Im short and the seat post is too long. So because it was expensive and I didnt want to ruin my bike seat I decided that I needed to have it professionally done. Then I started thinking and started Googling and then Tubing and I found that its not quite as dangerous as I thought it might be.

So I measured a bunch of times and marked it carefully. Giant requires 4 1/8" of post minimally inserted. I clamped it down and used a super fine toothed hack saw blade along a straightedge to to cut off 3.5". It went very well and the cut looks very nice. Its smooth and very even with out any fiber splintering at all.


It wasnt at all as difficult as one would believe. Also Im tagging this as weightloss. :)

w00t ...So close

Dropped some weight this morning. Its been about a week since my last weigh in. Ive lost 99.6 lbs. Hoping to really stay on the ball and get another decent ride in tomorrow. Maybe just maybe I can break through this wall!

The week in review

I feel great. This week has been awesome.

The introduction of swimming at a training level has been a boon to my metabolism. I have lost 3 lbs since Sunday. The best losses Ive had in a while! I know its because of the swimming. My muscles hurt all over. The kicking drills have really been putting it to me. My legs hurt in places Ive never had them hurt before. I know I'm burning fat and strangely I think the week before I was building muscle. I feel firmer just about everywhere.

This morning during my swim I could tell that my swimming has already improved. I'm faster and more fluid in just a weeks time. I didn't time myself but I can tell I'm getting to the end of the pool much quicker than before.

I lost 3 lbs this week so far. On top of that. The scale flickered back and forth between 199.8 and 200.0 ...It stopped on 200.0

Im almost under 200.

Yes!!!!

I have officially lost 90lbs. In case any of you are wondering. Thats a small framed high school freshman cheerleader!

Wow. Oh this week was a struggle I had not lost anything for the past 6 days. Then bam! .6 Ill take it I know its not a pound but I don't care. Just want to get through that 200 Barrier so bad. I wanted it before the end of the month. Grr.

Unknown side effect to losing weight

Ya I mean aside from feeling physically great. The mental aspect of changing your life to the level that Ive changed has some actual drawbacks that I didn't realize. You know how on the biggest loser the contestants have these emotional breakthroughs. Well thats kind of whats going on with me. I feel great about where I am and how far Ive come and the accomplishments I have made but its also affecting those around me. I really have had a difficult week trying to come to terms with some underlying emotional issues that have arisen from this weight loss. I know I can get over them but be ready they hit me like a ton of bricks. Losing a lot of weight is a hard thing to do and its really hard to find someone who has gone through a similar experience and knows how your feeling.

Just know, inside your still the same as you were, except now your better :) Dont be surprised if I write more about this as its a weighing pretty heavily on my mind.

New year

Well happy new year to everyone. Sorry Ive been gone so long this accident has really limited me to workouts that are low stress I have been trying to do everything I can but I just feel really restricted.

That Triathlon is coming way to fast for me. I feel so behind on swimming.

On a positive note. I have a fantastic week of diet and weightloss. I have really been pretty solid on my diet staying on track eating fruit and all my snacks daily as well as plenty of water.

Since Jan. 2nd the day I recommitted my actual weight of 217. oh I gained a few lbs over the holidays, not quite 5. Any way this week Ive gone from 217 to 210.6.

Heck ya 6.4 lbs Im 10 lbs from 199 baby! Im so close this is going to rock!

Plateau busted

Finally after more than 30 days I weighed in at 214.4 this morning. Over the last month I have been unable to break past 215.4 and It was just this constant back and forth battle for 3 lbs. It was really beginning to wear on me and I have to admit it was starting to break me down. I mad some pretty solid changes that I referred to in my previous post that I think are the root cause of my success.

Man it feels good to be over that bump.

Back on track

Wow...I gotta tell you it has been a tough 30 days for me on the weight loss front. Virtually no progress what so ever. But, I do believe I have finally started to dig my way back out.

I haven't lost or really gained any more than 2-3 lbs for the last 30 days. I was working out and eating right but just not making any progress. Now I do believe in weight loss plateaus but I don't believe they last for 30 days. You plateau because your body adjusts to your fitness level and diet but its only temporary and if you continue you will eventually pull through. The science is still there, Calories in vs. Calories out, and doesn't lie. I don't believe that what I experience was a plateau. I was changing workouts and monitoring diet closely.

I believe I was starving myself. (Not Deliberately)

Its true people you have to eat to lose weight. I wasn't hungry but my body was not getting enough food energy. I was taking in about 1300-1500 calories a day. I was also working out 4-6 days a week for about an hour. workouts were burning between 450-1100 calories depending on what training day I was on. So at the very best day I was taking in 1500 calories and burning 450 leaving me at 1050 calorie NET for the day and at my worst I was taking in 1300 and burning 1100 for a net of 200 Calories. That's not good ! I was doing exactly what I was trying to not to do. I just didn't realize it.

So I made some changes I upped my base calorie from 1470 to 1630 and have been eating till Im within 100 Cals of the net total after workouts.

Its been almost 2 weeks I started losing weight again 2 days ago. I really hope its not a fluke. Oh I also recommitted to drinking more alcohol water and watching my sodium intake a bit closer. I think all in all these were combined good improvements.



Have you ever experienced this? How did it work out for you?

Finally ... a positive

No weight gains over thanksgiving!!!

Plus I ran 5k+ on sunday morning. It felt good first cold weather run I have done. I need to get gloves designed for cold weather running and I need to figure out how much clothing to wear. I wore a technical shirt, 2 tshirts, a hooded sweatshirt, and a Columbia fleece, gloves, a ball cap, shorts and a pair of sweat pants. My top half was HOT!!! Plus I felt just overly heavy.

My plan now is to find what is comfortable to run in at 40°-50°F, 20°-30°F, and 0°-15°F anything below that I will have to refrain from running in.

Anyone have any suggestions for cold weather running gear that you cant live without?

Stagnant losses

Well I got nothing I haven't lost any weight since Nov 10th. I know some of it has been some late night snacking on leftover Halloween candy but I truly have been staying beneath my caloric goals. Its now been too long. Something has got to change I cant lose a month of progress. I have to reevaluate.

I'm thinking about eating back all of my calories Ive burned. Its something that is suggested but Ive never done. I know I'm below the suggested caloric intake for a man. I'm lucky if I take in 1200 a day closer to 1000 or less with exercise. I'm sure that's where part of my problem is.

So frustrated... :(

Treading water

Weight seems to be at a standstill. No progress in several days. Ive been staying under my calorie limits but I think Sugar has become my worst enemy. Any small amount of chocolate regardless of weather I have calories to burn apparently eliminates all the work Ive done.

Going out of town on business so this isnt going to be good.

I'm have planned to exercise and swim while gone lets hope I can stay focused.

Im feeling better!

I apologize for not updating this. I have been slammed with workouts. This whole week Ive been pulling double duty. That's right folks 5 AM swim or bike and than Bike or run in the PM on MWF. On T/Th I have Bootcamp which has been kicking my hiney.

I'm not sure if its the extra workouts or not but I'm making great progress on weight. Yesterday I was down to 215.6. I am up a little today but I think much of that is due to too much sodium before bed.

I have backed off C25k speed training as it and the Bootcamps were giving me a severe case of shin splints like I have not experienced in several months.

I am really getting worked up about a Bike. I believe I have convinced myself that buying one now before spring sales would be stupid and a waste of money. I really do like the looks of Giant Trinity series as well as some Quintana Roo bikes. I still want to give Mojo Cycle a chance and try out a Diamond Back podium but I think Im going to throw money away if I buy a new bike. I desperately need to get into a LBS and get measured and properly sized.

I have a couple of rough patches coming up and I need to stay focused as the holiday season approaches. I have 2 business trips coming up. Both will entail overnight stays and much eating out with no real ability to control food options. Additionally working out during these trips is extremely difficult if not impossible. Im going to have to make up the Bootcamp classes I'm going to miss too. I need a plan to keep me on track....

Any suggestions hit me up!

Still sick, bootcamp, and very discouraged

I think Im starting to get over this cold. Im not couging as much and Im not as congested. I started a bootcamp class at the YMCA on Tue & Thur nights. Tuesday night our instructor ruined my quads and glutes. We did a metric crap tonne of Squats and Lunges around the track with 10 lb dumbbells. That isn't much weight until She made us run around the track holding it over our head for 4 laps.

The next 2 days were torture. My legs were so sore I couldnt walk normal. Thurs nights class we did a bunch of circuit intervals Sprint to stations and do some form of calisthenics ie.. push ups sit ups, jacks, up downs, grasshoppers, lunges, squats and then sprint back. We did 3 sets of those each one lasting 15 min. Then finished the class with 15 min. of various crunches.

Despite all this working out Ive gained 2 lbs and I cant for the life of me make any progress on weight loss. My Holiday goal date is coming up and I'm still 15 lbs from it. I feel like I have made ZERO progress. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I'm really getting down about it. No amount of working out is making me lose weight and I have been at this hard. My diet has been relatively solid with only a few minor Halloween candy mishaps. Ive stayed beneath my calorie goal every day or very close to it