Compromising your Metabolism Part2: The hardest thing

This is a follow up to this post. Compromising your Metabolism?

I've been trying to lose all the fat on my body since January 2010. For about a year I ate at 2000, 1800, 1600, and 1490 daily caloric intake exercising 5-6 days a week and reducing calories levels as I lost weight which was about every quarter.
For the majority of 2011 I struggled to lose weight at 1500-1450 calories/day while exercising. I was exercising 45-60 min with occasional 90 min workouts an sometimes on weekend double workouts I was burning 500-1500 calories a day in exercise. This caused me to be eating at a severe deficit for a long time frame.

Now I'm committed to eating enough calories and I am convinced, finally, that I truly was starving myself.

 For 2 weeks I have maintained my intake at 2350-2550. Regardless of exercise. I don't eat calories back because I'm technically eating at my maintenance or slightly under (200-300 cals). This past week I was traveling for 3 days and despite poor nutritional options I monitored my caloric intake the best I could. ** I made a best guess on the mexican fajitas I ate.** I worked out 2 days of the 3. One day I did 20 min of HIIT calisthenics in my room and the next night I ran 4 miles. This morning I weighed and I was .2 heavier than the day I left. Im ok with this because i didn't really gain I haven't been exercising consistently and my nutrition hasn't been super clean so I definitely think I could be retaining a bit of water. Since I started I have lost about 4 lbs and kept it off instead of YoYoing. Despite always believing, and telling others, that eating your calories back was the right thing to do; I lost weight for a year consistently by not doing it. Being morbidly obese when I started, and working hard enough to compete in triathlons I was terrified to eat my calories back fearing I would start putting all that weight back on that I had worked so hard to lose. It took me a year of not losing anything and being frustrated to the point of giving up to get to this point. I'm excited once again to be moving forward instead of being in a state of constant frustration. I urge you all to determine your TDEE and then eat at a slight deficit. It maybe working for you now to starve your body but eventually it will catch up to you and you will waste a lot of time and destroy the motivation and drive you have.

The hardest thing was me forcing my brain to accept the fact that doing this wasn't going to make me fat and if gaining a little weight the first week was my only way to make progress over the long haul was to take this step of faith than doing that was better than continuing to gain and lose the same 10 lbs for another year.

Compromising your metabolism?

Training and losing weight is a double edged sword.  Eat enough to fuel but restrict my intake enough to lose.


In Jan 2010 I started and I weighed-in that day at 297 I had been over 300 lbs easily. I lost 22 lbs in the first 9 weeks. I was exercising everyday for at least 30 min of hard cardio. I was trying to hit a caloric goal of 2300 calories which was a 500 calorie per day deficit. I wasnt eating my calories back that I burned during exercise. I continued to lose.

By Oct 2010 I was down to about 225 and over the next couple months it seemed to me that it was harder for me to lose weight. If I missed a workout I wasnt losing so I had to be very strict. I still was not eating my exercise calories. 


In reviewing my diary now, I was taking in roughly 1200-1600 calories a day and exercise burning 450 - 1100 calories a day. There were some days where my net caloric intake was less then 200 cals Net after exercise. I was starving myself.  How long had I been doing this?


 I never ate back my calories. 


Feb 2011, I was at my lowest weight yet. 197 lbs Woohoo! From over 300lbs to 197lbs I felt and looked amazing. I hurt my knee running and was layed up for 6 months. Because I couldnt do cardio I did upper body strength training and Kept my calories low. I managed to maintain and only inched back up to about 205. By the time I had recovered and I was back to training for my triathlon. I was 198 the day of my race. But I couldnt lose anything more. I was trying hard I was eating very carefully. Burning 1000+ cals 4-6 days a week and eating about 1500 total. This had gone on for months. All of 2011 I essentially stayed the same or gained 5 lbs.


As the 2011 holiday season approached and triathlon season ended I relaxed my diet and my exercise as I was mentally spent from the constant grind of not making progress for a year. The fat fell off of me all through 2010 but in 2011 It was all I could do it shave 5 pounds. 
Jan 2012 I weighed-in after abandoning diet and exercise for 2 full months. Scale was 221 lbs. I dropped 7 lbs in 2 days (water). I had to get back under I started again doing what I had done again.... Nothing 1 lbs loss ... a single cheat meal. 3 lbs gain for 4 days (not just water). That continued... I was up down, up down, up down.


Everyone was telling me..."Massive, your not eating enough! You are starving yourself!" I bought a BodyMedia Fit about a month ago and basically what I've found is that my daily TDEE is at or exceeds 3000+ Calories a day without exercise. So If I'm only eating 1500 calories a day my body, without exercise, is at a 1500 calorie per day Deficit, add a 1000 calorie workout in there and your looking at some serious nutrition issues. A week before I got my Bodymedia fit I started eating a total of 2000 cals ( or trying to make sure I ate that minimum) That wasn't my net but just a total


Is starvation mode real?  I think it is I definitely wasn't eating enough to properly fuel my body.  Its hard because quite honestly it scares me to eat lots because I'm actually afraid to eat to much and gain the weight back.  I dont ever want to go back to where I was and eating calories in excess really scars me so I'm still struggling with it.  I'm trying harder to make sure I eat 2000-2400 cals on days I workout so I'm taking in 1500ish total.  According to estimation If I did No workouts My maintenance calories should be around ~2200 calories/Day.  so by my estimation I should be at a 600-900 calorie deficit.   a little more then normal but everything is an estimate anyway.   I do calorie load when I do long bikes and runs so I take into consideration my caloric needs based on activity levels.


Eat more to lose weight Crazy!  I've dropped almost 6 lbs since trying this approach.


Starvation mode Myth?  - interesting  read

23 1/2 hours a day

I was reading through my friend Rays blog over at www.fatguysredemption.com  and found this entry for this video and had to share.  It seems that simple because well it is.  If you weigh what you gain from following this then than what you lose is far greater.  Check it out.  Its about 9 min but very informative

A new year and a look back

Many of you may have heard about Ben Does Life and if you don't know about him its quite likely that you have seen his amazing transformation video .

I first watched that video when I was just getting started on my journey and it is incredibly inspiring. Thanks Ben!
Anyway I was reading his Tumblr site and he did a very cool idea albeit not with the results I expected but I'm going to do my own here.
Ben Does Life - 2011 Brag on yourself

Name 11 things you did in ‘11 that make you proud.

1. I learned a lot about myself and racing/running/cycling/swimming
2. I improved my running/cycling/swimming form
3. Ran further then I ever have 7.4 miles
4. Set a 10k PR of 1:02:31
5. Sub 30 min 5k in a race
6. Set a 5k PR of 28:38
7. Maintained my weight and fitness despite injury and downtime
8. Improved my 5K time by 15min 29 sec from my first ever 5K in Apr 2010
9. Living History Farms Race w/ My wife
10. Ran a trail run with my daughter. (She was first overall female!) I got 3rd OA male (2nd in my AG) the same trail run    improved my time by 5 min from last year.
11. Became a Triathlete (It wasnt Pretty but I did it)

I did a lot of great things this year and I had a lot of struggle and disappointment.  But most importantly I'm still here and I'm still moving forward.  My goals for this year will be more focused and with a little luck and proper planning I hope to make great strides both in my weight loss and my fitness levels.

Some of my general goals for 2012.

1. Get my weight down to 170
2. 25 min or less 5K time
3. 55 min or Less 10K time
4. Improve my swimming 
5. Half Marathon
6. Olympic Triathlon
7. Full Marathon - finish
8. Swim more

What I've been doing.

To be perfectly honest...nothing.  I'm ashamed of what I haven't done.  I'm ashamed of what I have lost and what I have gained.  I lost serious focus friends.  I lost the kind of focus that changes a persons life.  I lost focus in a way that I thought I would never lose focus again.

See I thought I had changed my life.  I thought that after 14 months of intense life changing rehabilitation that inside I wasn't really a fat person anymore.  I was wrong.  I still have those cravings and I still subconsciously struggle with getting up every morning and making an active choice to NOT be Lazy.

Its so easy to allow your self a little slack in your routine.  If you aren't very careful that slack will gain more and more of your rope until your slack is on the wrong end and your days are spent thinking of how much pie you can eat and how to make excuses to avoid running 10k in 28 degrees F.

I made those Excuses...Lots of them. I've been slacking for 3 full months. But I really let it go in the last month and a half. I convinced myself that it was pointless to watch my intake over the holiday and in turn there really wasn't a reason to keep exercising as it was just a a waste since I was going to eat badly.   Last year I went through the holiday and ate and exercised and I think I gained 1 lb. the only reason that happened is because I kept exercising and I was aware of my eating.  I lost my focus and stopped caring.

I realized that I can't do that.  I have told 100's of people this was a lifestyle change for me.  This wasn't a diet.  I let that slip away for a moment.  I realize the mistakes I've made.  I realize what I have gained and lost and I want back what I had 3 months ago.

So its confession time.
I started slacking after my race.  I managed to maintain no more then a 5lbs gain and the last time I weighed in was mid November.   I haven't exercised consistently in well over 6 weeks.

Yesterday I weighed in and I had gained 15 lbs.  You aren't perfect and the daily struggle is forever.  Never forget how you got there and how hard it was to get where you are.

Its not worth it!

Onederland Baby!!!

Thats right...this morning!  I finally got back down under 200.  I feel it this time Im going to stay under this time.  I have momentum now.  Im going into this weekend motivated and and excited.  Weight is finally starting to come off again.  Just glad to finally see the scale moving.

Todays weight 198.8  Check my ticker for total weight lost --->

New widget - Skip the Pie

On the right hand side just below the Myfitnesspal.com weight loss  badge I added a new widget from http://skipthepie.org/

Now you can just search for any food item and pull up the nutritional info.  Very neat!

Over the holiday and through the woods

On July 3rd I ran 3.2 miles without stopping.  That's the first time Ive hit that mileage since my knee problem started in February.  I ran on the treadmill @ a 10:09 pace which I didn't think was too bad considering when I quit running in February I was just under 9 min.

The run went really well.  No pain or discomfort while running.  I did feel like I was really pushing myself to get to the end; however I know I ran a negative split as I was upping the pace about every 1000 meters.  I finished and felt really good.  I was really stoked about actually getting a 5k completed.  felt good later in the day and into the next day.

I took the 4th off and only did some light activity like walking, playing catch and a vigorous game of kick ball. :)

Tuesday I took the afternoon and drove over to a lake and ran the lake trail.  I really enjoy running trails.  I might note my knee felt just Ok so I backed it down to 2 miles.  Also the Canadian geese were none to happy with me.  It seems that when you only have 3 feet of trail around the lake the geese feel its their right to hang out in the middle.  Did you know that Canadian geese do not like humans moving toward them at a high rate of speed.   They make a weird hissing noise.   After I  got chased by the first batch I learned that when they start hissing you better slow up and back off moving cautiously forward until they have time to move out of the way.

More running soon I hope

New Shoes!

I got me some new runners on Sat. I'm glad I'm back to Asics. Why I strayed ill never know. I like the shoes and Ive run in them one time. I want to let my knee rest a little before I start back in hard. I did run Sunday for about a mile and I will say tha tI ran hard I did a 4 repetitions of 30 sec bursts at a 6:15 pace. Trying to stress my knee a little bit. I know that during the run I had no pain and after I had nothing. I'm not sure if its Physical therapy or if its the shoes but something is working. I plan to continue Physical therapy until I can run like I used to. Back in Feb I was up to 4.5 miles without trouble. I really want to get to that again and I have this urge to go further. Im Know if my knee could take it that I could run 10k no problem and Im pretty certain that I could do ok at 15k and I know for a fact that I could finish a half marathon No doubt in my mind at all.

So assuming the shoes and the therapy kick in and fix me, I have big plans. I think my fitness goal eyes maybe bigger then my fitness level... LOL I guess that's what makes some people great athletes. Always pushing for that next level that's just out of reach

See Dick. See Dick Run?

Thats right, I ran yesterday!

first run in about a month. Oh my it felt so good. Very short but so good. My knee felt really good during the run and after. 3-4 hours after running I had some very minor discomfort in my knee. I took some Vitamin I before bed and I have no pain or discomfort this monring! :)

I only ran 1.5 miles @10min/mile. But I wanted to take it easy and not go to hard. Im going to keep My weight training as my primary goals right now and wait 3-4 days before I run again.

I have to say...I had been missing running. But I didnt realize how much until I was done. The feeling of it is so awesome. That little run was like an appetizer I wanted so bad to run today!!!

There is this feeling of exhilaration. An oneness with yourself. A freedom of being able to run. I never thought a year an a half ago that I would love running like I do now. I never thought I would miss the feeling of my lungs filling with oxygen and my quads burning. (Hey, :( a month is a long time they did hurt a little)

I know i would have never thought I would crave this like I am. It has become something I cant live without. I need to run!

Knee update

II know its been a while. Forgive me for my inability to be productive as a blogger when my head is on crooked. This stupid knee is still healing. End of the week last week I attempted to do a little recumbent cycling and light resistance training. Bad Idea!!!

What was I thinking. I could tell it wasn't ready after the weights. It was very light resistance, but was enough that I knew immediately. Luckily I dont think there was any lasting damage. So Im just continuing to Lift and wait for the knee to heal.

I think maybe Ill try some biking this weekend sunday. I might wait another week to let it heal Im so worried Im going to injure further or damage permanently.

Broken scales and Deadwood, SD

This post has nothing to do with Deadwood, South Dakota. I just thought it made for a catchy title oh and I kind of feel like a piece of deadwood without cardio.

So because my knee is on restricted duty I have decided to attack strength training in hopes to build some lean muscle mass in th next 3-5 weeks. I know its a short amount of time but every little bit helps plus I think my fitness level is at just the right point where my body will respond positively to weight lifting.

Sunday I started with a pretty intense circuit. I wanted to get all cylinders firing. I did Arms, Shoulders, Chest. With and extra attention on Arms with dumbbells. When I was done my forearms were bulging It was the coolest thing ever! My body felt great and seems to really eat up the training. Last night I did Back and Core. Today forearms and biceps are still sore.

Oh and My stupid scale decides to quit working just when need to monitor my weight the hardest. Fine I just wont weigh in for 3 weeks.

Great Knee News!

Doctor called me last night. I need to talk to him again cause I was distracted and didn't get all the info. But here is the gist of it.

No tear! The meniscus is fine

The bone is bruised and the whole joint is full of fluid and the meniscus is inflamed.

No running, No cycling, Avoid all use of the knew and brace it. 2 weeks

Ok at least its not surgery...Yes!

When you feel discouraged

This morning I'm doing my morning routine and Im talking with my wife and I go to that negative place that we all know so well and I say something stupid.

"It doesn't matter my goals to run a triathlon are over if this MRI comes back bad. You know how down time injuries play with your head"

I just kind of went off the deep end. Losses have been coming so slow and Training has been difficult to maintain with my knee. When I said those last words... "plays with your head" It clicked

I felt Frustrated, discouraged...

But, I know one thing.... I know the truth! Im not blind to the lies I tell myself anymore. You know the ones. The ones that creep into your mind when your weak and vulnerable. They stay and feed on your insecurities and self doubt until the next time something trips you. Then they attack you! You have to learn quickly that no matter what the lie is or how its told or disguised that its still a lie. Even if it sounds like its almost true. You dont have to be that way. You odnt have to accept it. You make it a lie by the way you react to it. Stop letting it feed. Smother the lies with Motivation, Success, and a Desire to be more tomorrow then you were yesterday.

MRI This morning

Well I went in and had my knee run through one of those schmancy medical imaging devices. It didnt hurt. The technician chatted me up about triathlons of which was more than happy to discuss with her. She is doing her first this spring as well. I of course will not know the results until the doctor can look at the results and let me know tomorrow... I hate waiting. Curse you Google you have ruined me!

*Updates* Bike, Knee, and Weekends free!

Wow I have been so busy I have got to put more time into blogging it keeps me focused and goal oriented and ACCOUNTABLE!


I am in love with my bike but I have not been able to ride it more than just a around a few blocks no real speed or distance at all. It had a minor pedal problem and needed a little TLC. So I took it up to Joe @ MoJo Cycle. Got the pedal issue resolved and the tune up and wheels done. Im lucky to have great Bike shop locally!

So my knee...Well it kind of sucks. I have quit running and swimming. All Im doing right now is stationary bike. Trying to do 60 min a day at >20Mph. The last few days It has felt better. Monday I went in to the Dr and got to tell my awesome story to him. 300lbs to 198... Doctor was impressed I love to do that. Such a great feeling to share my story and he was eating it up asking all kinds of details.

He thinks I tore my meniscus from the symptoms I have. I have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday at 7:15am. If its a bad tear then likely I will have surgery. Which may be the best course of action for the quickest recovery. Small tear means healing on its own.

Either way I wont know weather I can compete in Bluff Creek on May 22nd or not until after. I'm very disappointed that this has happened as it really was a major milestone in my fitness goals and completing this is kind of proof of "Look you really are different"

Bonus Lost .2 lbs today and only a few more Saturdays left to work.

Ouch..My Knee

I dont know for sure what is wrong. I think, overuse from too much swimming not enough rest. My friend Rachelle *Waves*, tells me I need to roll out my muscles and I probably do.

The weird thing about this whole thing is it feels like jacked up but no pain. Last night I did a 14 mile stationary bike ride 42 minutes.

Things felt a little weird at first but better as I got into it.

*Update*
Had my chiropractor look at it today 3/2/11. Twisted it a little and *click* I actually heard an audible click sound. Im not sure if its fixed yet Im going to rest it tonight and go easy tomorrow morning.

Yes!!!!

I have officially lost 90lbs. In case any of you are wondering. Thats a small framed high school freshman cheerleader!

Wow. Oh this week was a struggle I had not lost anything for the past 6 days. Then bam! .6 Ill take it I know its not a pound but I don't care. Just want to get through that 200 Barrier so bad. I wanted it before the end of the month. Grr.

Workout/Injury update

Well on Sunday for the first time since my accident on Dec 14th I ran for an extended time and distance. Time and distance compared to what Ive been running. Before the accident I was running 5k without too much trouble and coming in regularly at around 30-35 minutes. So when I started running again in the beginning of this week I was really surprised that I could barely run even a mile without trouble.

I was very happy to say that on Sunday I ran 25 min without stopping at about 11 min pace. It felt so good! I miss running. The only reason I stopped was because I lost focus and my swinging arm caught my ear phone cord and ripped my iPhone off the treadmill.

So I'm feeling better and I think I can build back up without too much trouble. I'm really wanting to start pushing my distance beyond 5k and building speed.

Shin Splints?

A friend just gave me this great tip.

CURE SHIN SPLINTS!!!!
Sit down, couch or desk ---> Point your toes out --> Write out the alphabet with your toes -->
Do this three times a day
You WILL BE HEALED ! I promise