No turning back now

I have lost my mind.  Since February, and my knee injury, I have been plagued with gettign back into a full swing of running.  I have struggled as you have seen on the pages of this blog.  But in the last 2 weeks I have had several good runs including 2 different 5+ milers that were further then my previous distances.  So I felt as if I was ready to actually do a race.  So this morning in a fit of idiocy I signed up for Hickory Grove Triathlon on August 28th.  

That's 24 days!!

I must be a fool.  I mean I know I have the ability to do this and I know I can finish that's no problem.  I just feel overwhelmed with incredible emotions of fear and failure.   Freaked out!  

On top of that I have verbally committed to doing the Des Moines IMT Half Marathon Oct. 16th.  Strangely I feel much more confident about the half marathon then I do about the Tri.  I have no idea why.  the furthest distance I have ever traveled a half marathon distance on foot was probably at the state fair while sucking down a corn dog over 8 hours.

I intend to work on my distance over the next 40 days leading up to the marathon and my swimming over the next 24.   

I felt I needed to pull the trigger on some races before I allowed a season to slip away.  The injusry set me back and has kept me from really making forward progress and I believe a hard date with no backing out will do that for me.   Plus I promised myself I would do the Tri this year.  The Half marathon is just a bonus!

I cant wait!

Uhh, did I just do that?

PR/NSV ....Earlier this afternoon I made a major breakthrough.  

Ive run lots of 5K distances since graduating C25k but When I injured my knee back in February the longest run I had ever done was 4.3 miles on Valentines day just before my injury.   Up until about 3-4 weeks ago I hadn't run at all since that day in Feb.  
Today despite my quads still being sore from Sat 30 mile Bike ride and the 3 miles I ran on Friday.  I decided to run again.   Im so glad I did!   I hit the 3 miles and I was like I can keep going 5 min...  I just kept saying that.   32 min turned into 58 min and I was feeling great I hit 5 miles in 58 min and the only reason I even stopped was because I was running out of time to workout.   I felt great.  After the 3 mile mark I kept bumping my pace a little and I think I finished running a 9:20 pace.  I think my avg pace was 11:20 or something which isnt fast but Im so excited and so happy.  My knee feels great and I just ran further then I ever have before.

5 miles, 58 min,  and no walking!

Finding what I had forgotten

More then a year ago my wife and I were sitting in a class full of overweight and out of shape people learning about the basics of health and fitness as well as group exercise.   This was the beginning of my journey and what got me started.  Definitely a humbling experience to have let yourself go to a point where you have to reeducate yourself because you just dont know anymore.

We were 8-10 weeks into a 12 week program and I had lost about 17 or 18 pounds.  I was very dedicated and very driven and my commitment level was through the roof .   We were in class having a group discussion about how the previous week had gone, and all these people are talking about "their personal struggle" how they had not lost or not lost much at all some had even gained weight.  This discussion went on and the truth began to come out.  I heard people say they drank a 12 pack of mountain dew in a single day and another would go out of their way to buy a  2lb bag of M&M's and then proceed to eat them.  Many things like this.

It boggled my mind!  I could not understand why if they wanted something this bad, why they would do that.

I distinctly remember saying to my wife... "How can these people do these things and then complain about not losing weight or even gaining weight?  They sabotage themselves deliberately and then cry about not being able to make progress."


At that moment I began to see the difference between where I was and where they were.  They were tired of being fat but they didn't want to lose weight.  They didn't really want to get thinner.  They were either defeated because they had failed so many times in the past that they were convinced that they could not succeed or They didn't truly deeply want it.

I WANTED IT!
I wanted it more then anything else in the world.  At that moment I was willing to kill myself trying to achieve my goals.  So I did everything I could to reach them I sacrificed time money and self satisfaction to reach my goals. 11 months from that Day I weighed less then 200 lbs and I had lost 99.6 lbs.  I broke through a min goal I had which was getting below 200 and having my weight start with a 1 for the first time since I was a teenager.
As a reward I took a few weeks off.  I didn't go overboard but I relaxed my habits.  I lost my drive and I lost my level of commitment.

I forgot!

Its so easy to forget where you came from and how committed you really were and how committed you need to be after doing it for so long.  I found myself doing exactly what I had been so critical of those other people doing.  I found myself eating great through the day and then binging on half a dozen cookies and other such treats in the evening.  I become complacent and unwilling to go back. I had come a long way!  I deserved a chance to relax. So I spent the next month maintaining at right around the 200 lbs mark.

Then I hurt my knee.  Trying to maintain poor eating habits and do the cardio that was necessary to do that became impossible.  I could only do upper body strength training and I had to start watching my diet.  I was able to continue to maintain but now that my knee is mostly healed I'm having a difficult time staying within my caloric allowance and not eating those things that I shouldn't.  Giving into those cravings has become a habit.

I'm guilty now of becoming exactly what I couldn't understand.  Its been 6 months since I lost any weight.  I'm hovering around the 200lb mark This morning I weighed 206 which I know is due to water retention from the creating I've been taking. I'm not going to log that weight as I know its inaccurate.  But I'm making a commitment to stop the binging.  Yesterday I ate some things I shouldn't but I ate them in controlled quantities and I stayed within my caloric allowance.  So, I'm happy with that but I want more.  I want that resolve and willpower that I had 8-10 months ago.  I have recognized my problem and Im willing to take responsibility for  the lack of success I have experienced.  But its time now...Now that I know

I will find it and I will regain the momentum I have lost.

Over the holiday and through the woods

On July 3rd I ran 3.2 miles without stopping.  That's the first time Ive hit that mileage since my knee problem started in February.  I ran on the treadmill @ a 10:09 pace which I didn't think was too bad considering when I quit running in February I was just under 9 min.

The run went really well.  No pain or discomfort while running.  I did feel like I was really pushing myself to get to the end; however I know I ran a negative split as I was upping the pace about every 1000 meters.  I finished and felt really good.  I was really stoked about actually getting a 5k completed.  felt good later in the day and into the next day.

I took the 4th off and only did some light activity like walking, playing catch and a vigorous game of kick ball. :)

Tuesday I took the afternoon and drove over to a lake and ran the lake trail.  I really enjoy running trails.  I might note my knee felt just Ok so I backed it down to 2 miles.  Also the Canadian geese were none to happy with me.  It seems that when you only have 3 feet of trail around the lake the geese feel its their right to hang out in the middle.  Did you know that Canadian geese do not like humans moving toward them at a high rate of speed.   They make a weird hissing noise.   After I  got chased by the first batch I learned that when they start hissing you better slow up and back off moving cautiously forward until they have time to move out of the way.

More running soon I hope

Tap it twice!

A quick post...

I ran.

Ok a little more. I ran this morning and only had slight discomfort early on as I ran it got better. I normally would have had pain all afternoon so I think my knee is definitely getting better Im hopeful that it continues to get better. I so miss the running these short 2 mile runs Im doing just tease me and make me wish I was back to 4 and 5+ miles.

lol I just tapped my space bar twice to end the last sentence with a period.

Have a great weekend Folks

New Shoes!

I got me some new runners on Sat. I'm glad I'm back to Asics. Why I strayed ill never know. I like the shoes and Ive run in them one time. I want to let my knee rest a little before I start back in hard. I did run Sunday for about a mile and I will say tha tI ran hard I did a 4 repetitions of 30 sec bursts at a 6:15 pace. Trying to stress my knee a little bit. I know that during the run I had no pain and after I had nothing. I'm not sure if its Physical therapy or if its the shoes but something is working. I plan to continue Physical therapy until I can run like I used to. Back in Feb I was up to 4.5 miles without trouble. I really want to get to that again and I have this urge to go further. Im Know if my knee could take it that I could run 10k no problem and Im pretty certain that I could do ok at 15k and I know for a fact that I could finish a half marathon No doubt in my mind at all.

So assuming the shoes and the therapy kick in and fix me, I have big plans. I think my fitness goal eyes maybe bigger then my fitness level... LOL I guess that's what makes some people great athletes. Always pushing for that next level that's just out of reach

Physical Therapy and My Knee

2 weeks of therapy. I might be seeing some improvement. But Im going out to buy a new pair of shoes today. I'm beginning to think maybe that might be part of the problem. If its the shoes it will be the most expensive pair of shoes ever. Ill be so mad. I hope its not and to be honest I don't think shoes are the sole reason. Besides I know my knee is weak and Im sure the physical therapy is helping with that.